comparisons

As soon as I found out I was pregnant last year, I began to do a lot of research. The night I found out, I couldn't sleep well because I was so excited I just laid in my bed researching on my phone.

Throughout the next few weeks, especially after I announced our pregnancy, I caught myself comparing myself to other pregnant women both home friends and blog friends. I wasn't meaning to compare, I was meaning to get opinions and see if these women were experiencing the same symptoms, emotions, pains, etc. But I ended up comparing and over-thinking.


a little over halfway through my pregnancy

As women we tend to do that to ourselves and although we try not to, it is hard not say "that women's baby bump is smaller than mine, am I eating too much?" or "I am experiencing this type of pain and she isn't, is my baby going to be okay?". Sometimes it is hard not to sit back and just enjoying the moment because we are over analyzing things.

We need to take a step back.

This went on throughout my pregnancy especially at the end. I was pregnant at the same time as my best friend and many other bloggers friends and it was fun to see when everyone ended up having their babies. My best friend had her little girl an exact month before I had my little one. And Wifessionals had her little girl the same day! And there were many others I followed and friends from home that had their babies around the same time. So comparisons can be fun and exciting. I loved having a group of mothers who were going through the same things I was and were honest and open about it. As women, we need to hear the raw, difficult side of things sometimes because our expectations can be broken otherwise when things don't go the way we thought.

But after becoming a mother, the comparisons continued. Since I was new at being a mom, I got a lot of advice. And when you get advice from other people it is hard not to think that maybe you aren't doing something right or your baby is not developing correctly.



Or sometimes you even compare yourself to other moms and the way they lost all their baby weight (or at least it seems like it) almost immediately. For me, this is a bad one because I tend to be hard on myself and my body. 

Comparisons can be good as long as they don't make you look down on yourself.

Stepping back, I realized I just needed to enjoy this time and not over think things. I listened to my friends about their babies and we bounced ideas off each other but it wasn't in a negative, comparative way. We just enjoyed telling each other about our babies. I read blogs without comparing the development or weights to our little boy. Instead, I read and asked moms with older babies questions. 

I know comparisons will occur in my life but I have come to realize that no matter what I learn my baby is unique, I am unique, and we are both God's own unique creation and no one is the exact same. Throughout these last four months of being a mother, I have learned to listen to everyone's advice, but know that it might not work for me or my little guy. I have learned instead to ask questions and get opinions. Then I think about what is best for my baby.

(I am not writing this post for pity, to make you feel like I was comparing myself to you, or to hint that something is wrong with my little one, I just had something on my heart and I wanted to share. My baby is healthy, happy, and developing great! His mom and dad are happy and content, although slightly tired. Bloggers, please continue to share because it is helpful to know other mothers who are going through the same things.)

No Comments Yet, Leave Yours!

Emily Powell said...

love this meg :)

The Life of Poole said...

This hits very close to home for me right now! One of my best friends is pregnant right now and she's barely gained weight and her bump is so small and I am constantly comparing how much bigger I was when I was that far along. I always measured right on each week but I did gain 45lbs and feel like I was huge compared to her. I need to keep reminding myself that we are all different and that I am blessed with a beautiful baby boy now!